Dear Srila Prabhupada: Please accept my most humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to you!

Today, we observe the day you departed from this world, leaving us experiencing deep pangs of separation—an ache that only intensifies with each passing year. Although your teachings, your presence within your books, and the shelter of the holy name continue to nurture us, the pain of separation from you burns ever more strongly in our hearts.

You yourself expressed this same sentiment in your 1961 Vyasa Puja offering to your spiritual master, Om Visnupada Paramahamsa Parivrajakacarya Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. Referring to his departure back home back to Godhead, you wrote most poignantly:

“On that day, in pain of separation, O Lord, I was grief-stricken, unable to tolerate being apart from my spiritual master.”

Though 47 years have gone by since you left us, Srila Prabhupada, we carry those same sentiments in our own hearts to this very day.

In a loving mood, you once said, “I do not know who is Krsna. I only know my Guru Maharaja.”

And so it is with us. Thus, separation from you takes on a special mood.

In separation from Krishna, the devotee says:

saṅgama-viraha-vikalpe
varam iha viraho na saṅgamas tasya
ekaḥ sa eva saṅge
tri-bhuvanam api tan-mayaṁ virahe

“Separation from Krishna is better than meeting Him. When I meet Him there is only one Krishna, but when I am separated from Him the three worlds become filled with Krishnas.”
(Padyāvalī, 240)

And so it is for me in my relationship with you, Srila Prabhupada. Since you departed, my world is filled only with memories of you. Yet, I still hanker to meet you again in person and to hear your loving words—as on the occasion in London when you slapped me on my back in firm appreciation, or even the chastisement you gave me when I fell asleep during your lecture in Hyderabad! No matter how deeply I desire to relive these moments, I know it is not possible to do so. This heartfelt longing reminds me of Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī’s plaintive appeal:

sa caitanyaḥ kiṁ me punar api dṛśor yāsyati padam

“Will Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu ever become the object of my vision again?” (Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Ādi-līlā, 4.51)

In that mood I humbly pray:

sa prabhupadah kiṁ me punar api dṛśor yāsyati padam

“Will my beloved spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada, ever become the object of my vision again?”

Each year, especially on this occasion, remembrances of you flood my mind: the unyielding determination in your eyes, the compassion in your voice as you called us to Krishna’s service, and the countless hours you spent guiding us towards pure love of Krishna. You embody that platform of pure love and absolute surrender to Krishna, and in your presence, we felt as if we were sheltered within an impenetrable fortress. Now, in this world without you, we are left to navigate the darkness of Kali-yuga, holding fast to your words as our guiding torch. That very torch you kindly handed me in the infancy of my spiritual life when you replied to a letter I wrote to you saying I missed you after your visit to our temple in Detroit in 1971. You replied, “I very much appreciate your feelings of separation from me. I also feel separation from my Guru Maharaja, but I always feel he is watching over and protecting me.” Srila Prabhupada, those words have given me solace since the day you departed this planet.

Once, in Paris, you invited me into your room, allowing me to watch in awe as you dictated the Srimad Bhagavatam with remarkable clarity and resolve. Now, in your absence, those words linger only as a whisper, leaving me longing for those few precious moments in your association once again. How vividly I remember sitting at your lotus feet in numerous cities around the world—Detroit, London, Paris, Geneva, and Rome—captivated by the timeless wisdom that flowed from your lips like nectar.

In my service to you, Srila Prabhupada, I continue to reach out to the lost souls of this world. Daily, I remember your plea to me: to preach boldly and have faith in the holy names. You spoke those words to me directly and in your absence, they have become my heartbeat, my mission statement, and my solace. To fulfill that plea requires immense spiritual strength, and I draw that strength from the promise you made to me one day in London—that we shall meet again in the spiritual world, and I will have the chance to serve you eternally in that realm of love and bliss.

Though I presently carry on my service in separation from you, I know that each step taken in your service brings me nearer to you. I feel your presence beside me, even in silence; I see your gentle smile reflected in the mirror of my heart. Every prayer I offer, every round I chant, every service I perform is dedicated to you, in the hope of honoring your name and the priceless teachings you imparted. The void left by your departure has only deepened my resolve to walk the path you so brilliantly illuminated.

Your divine presence left an indelible mark upon this world and upon our hearts—a mark that no force of time or tide will ever erase. Even now, your love and mercy reach across this vast distance of separation, giving me the strength to persevere. Your vision of a world transformed by Krishna consciousness fills my mind, and with each effort I make in your service, I strive to fulfill even a fraction of that dream. Yet, the weight of your mission rests heavily on my shoulders, constantly reminding me of the unwavering dedication with which you labored, despite every obstacle, to establish this movement for the salvation of all.

As I travel this world, speaking on the glories of Krishna and His service, it is your voice that speaks through me. I feel your love in every kirtan I lead, in every festival I arrange, and in every life that is touched by Krishna consciousness. Though my words may fall short and my efforts may be imperfect, I know that in each heart that turns toward Krishna, your legacy lives on. Your kindness and determination have become my guiding star, illuminating the path ahead. And in the moments when the path feels lonely in your absence, I remember that your transcendental presence remains with every single one of us who labors for your mission—just as you promised.

Srila Prabhupada, as I reflect on the years of my life, I am humbled by all you have so freely bestowed upon me. You have blessed me with a family in the form of countless disciples, friends, godbrothers, and godsisters — each one a precious gift on this path. Through them, I witness Krishna’s mercy and see how your mission continues to expand, bringing new hope to hearts once lost. From these devotees, I draw strength and inspiration, and I pray to serve them with the same love and patience that you so generously showed me.

My dear spiritual master, I pray once again for the good fortune of having your vapu as the object of my constant vision. Whether you bless me again, or chastise me again, I will consider both as equal expressions of your mercy. When your Guru Maharaja, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura, was preaching, his disciples would say that “prabhupādera dāl” (his remnants of dāl) and “prabhupādera gāl” (his sharp words of chastisement) have the same effect. They both lead to Krishna-prema.

Dearest Śrīla Prabhupāda, in Sanskrit, one of the terms used to denote a disciple is ante-vāsī. The term means that the student is at the door of his guru, waiting outside his home (ante), standing (vāsī) and holding paraphernalia for the service of his guru. I pray that you make me an ante-vāsī standing outside your door now and forevermore.

So, on this sacred day, I once again lay my heart, my soul, and my life at your lotus feet. I bow before you, offering my tears of separation as a homage to your infinite kindness. May I continue to carry your mission forward with courage, may I honor your teachings with purity, and may I one day be worthy to stand before you again—finally reunited—in the service of the Supreme Lord.

Srila Prabhupada, may I always reside in your heart, both in meeting and separation.

yatrāpi vasati śrīla
prabhupādo jagad-guruḥ
mamāpi vasatiḥ saiva
bhavatv ity arthitā mama

“My cherished desire is that wherever Prabhupāda is currently residing — may that place become my place of residence.”

Your eternal servant,
Indradyumna Swami


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